| New Year's Resolutions #2 |
| Friday, December 30, 2005 |
Is it too much of a cliche to consider becoming a nun? I'm not talking your everyday type nun either - I'm talking Mother Teresa, renounce men and commit yourself entirely to the good of others, type nun.
Although I'm not so into nun fashion. Think I'll be some kind of funky nun wearing natty high heels.
But it does appeal to me to wear something on my head that means I don't have to do my hair. It can be my party trick/means of scaring small children to suddenly pull off the nun head-wear to reveal a coiffure of intense frizziness.
It means no one will ever find a bun or a piece of toast in my likeness ;) |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 4:02 PM |
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| New Year's Resolutions #1 |
| Wednesday, December 28, 2005 |
New Year's Resolution #1:
Tell my aunt that although it's very nice that she got me a cat calendar for Christmas the fifth year in a row because "you like cats dear", I really don't want one next year.
In fact, I'm going to inform her that I don't like cats any more (especially as I am nearing the age where it is VERY VERY SCARY to be single and like cats), but that I like men and would like a calendar of those big strong muscly ones (but not ones that look like teenagers because that would be EQUALLY SCARY).
Everyone has one of those aunts. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 4:38 PM |
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| Why decision making is hard for women |
| Tuesday, December 27, 2005 |
| Decision making is hard for women because firstly you have to make the decision, and secondly you have to decide which shoes to wear while making the decision. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:32 AM |
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| Very important Christmas ALERT - no soap! |
| Saturday, December 24, 2005 |
| If anyone gives me soap for Christmas I am going to say v. politely "Thanks but no thanks" and hand it back immediately. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:00 AM |
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| I'm not the only one concerned about my frizzy hair |
| Friday, December 23, 2005 |
I got a little inkling my aunt thought that my hair needed some attention when she bought me some hair serum, but today I knew for sure she thought my frizzy hair dilemma was urgent when she said in an extremely surprised voice:
Your hair looks so shiny today!
Since she sounded so happy I didn't want to inform her that I had just been to the gym - so it was actually all-natural sweat serum.Labels: hair |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:07 AM |
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| Sick of reality entertainment |
| Wednesday, December 21, 2005 |
So there's annoying reality television, which is one thing, but this morning I became acutely aware of annoying reality music. I mean the music is quite good, but the lyrics, boy, listening to it felt like I was reading lots of boring blogs about relationships.
My boring blog musical journey began with a song about not dedicating any more songs to Alison, segued into a song about a boyhood where he had a bedroom on the middle floor of a house and his mum's hands were soothing when he had a fever, and ended with a song about finding a girlfriend having intercourse with another man after three hours at a party.
Yawn, yawn YAWN. Whatever happened to music where you didn't really know what was going on, but sang along anyway? ;) |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:27 AM |
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| Men's fashion that should be banned #7 |
| Tuesday, December 20, 2005 |
Out-of-context fashion
-football jumpers worn when not at the game
-white sports socks worn when not playing sport (and especially not with a business suit)
-alcohol-logo t-shirts worn when um er, just not in a drinking competition
-socks and sandals (These should NEVER ever be worn away from a bad-taste dress-up party.)
Men's fashion that should be banned #6Labels: men's fashion that should be banned |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:58 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 |
| So you know when someone waves at you and you wave back and then you discover that the waving person was actually waving at someone else? Well that happened to me TWICE today. Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:26 PM |
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| Christmas fashion that should be banned |
| Tuesday, December 13, 2005 |
1. Earrings with bells on
2. Those $2 Santa hats. And, even worse, those $2 reindeer antlers stuck on a sparkly alice band
3. Anything that flashes and that includes t-shirts, badges and dirty old men with white beards |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:41 AM |
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| Somebody pimp my pushie |
| Friday, December 09, 2005 |
My bicycle needs an upgrade. I know this because someone stole the bicycle lock and left my bike behind.
Somebody pimp my ride. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:47 AM |
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| The cluckiness that never comes |
| Thursday, December 08, 2005 |
I'm past 30 so that means by now I'm have meant to have got all clucky and 'oh isn't that baby really cute, I think I want one'.
Ms Paranoid is telling me loudly in my head (She is the loudest member of the committee) that there is something wrong with me. What could it be? So far I've come up with the following theories:
1. Since I pretend I'm actually not in my thirties, I have managed to convince my body as well.
2. Baby sick, crying and not being able to leave it in a cupboard and go out with my friends has managed to obliterate any chance of cluckiness.
3. I'm immune
4. I'm not a real person; I'm actually a mechanical creation living in an entirely constructed reality.Labels: head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 12:02 PM |
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| Breaking the 11th commandment: Committing a gaucherie |
| Tuesday, December 06, 2005 |
Yesterday's Dictionary.com word of the day, 'gaucherie', may sound like a delicious and exotic French dish, or the 11th commandment - Do not commit a gaucherie - but it's so not.
Gaucherie:A socially awkward or tactless act; also, lack of tact.
This is, of course, a pastime that I indulge in against my will - Why not give ditsiness a classy name? [Thinking of changing the name of this blog to The Gaucherie Chronicles. Yeah] |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:16 AM |
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| Practical advice for women |
| Monday, December 05, 2005 |
If you by chance find a pair of undies that are comfortable AND sexy ...
BUY IN BULKLabels: practical advice for women |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:17 AM |
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| Christmas fluff: Useless farting technology |
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 |
These are the top two (but quite possibly the only two) useless pieces of technology that involve farting and are marketed to the Christmas-gift buyer.
1. A pink bum-shaped farting machine. Just set it up and leave it to make a farting noise next to an unsuspecting victim. There are "Six hilarious farting noises" apparently.
2. Farting salt and pepper shakers. Your unsuspecting dinner guests will reach for the salt to season their potatoes, shake the salt container upside down and da da, farting noise. Guaranteed to put you off your Christmas dinner.
Note to my family members: A hand-held karaoke microphone is NOT useless or too infantile for a certain 30-something Kylie-wannabe. Grin. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:51 AM |
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