| Bright light! Bright light! |
| Friday, June 30, 2006 |
The company I work for just moved into new offices. They seemed nice, but that was just a facade hiding the evil that lay in wait.
I decided to visit the new toilet. Yes, on the surface this was a fairly harmless action ... Only I opened the door to discover the most awful awful news - the new loos have the brightest, blemish and cellulite-exposing lights. They are so bright I had an irresistable urge to try on several bikinis; you know, to really punish myself. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 8:24 PM |
|
|
|
| Men's Fashion that should be banned #16 |
| Wednesday, June 28, 2006 |
The Coogi jumper has incredible staying power. It wasn't the end of the somewhat over-colorful, over-threaded big woolly ugly man-jumper when the Australian company stopped making them a few years ago ...
Because the middle-aged/older men that wear them never change their wardrobe, so they will be wearing them FOREVER- pulling them down over their ample stomachs until they fall apart.
Wrong, wrong, WRONG
Men's Fashion that should be banned #15Labels: men's fashion that should be banned |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 4:13 PM |
|
|
|
| The language of Ditsy |
| Friday, June 23, 2006 |
I hate it when only half of what you intended to say comes out and it just sounds a bit odd and there's no going back from there.
Let me enlighten you with a working example from my own life ...
When someone greeted me this morning I stuttered in a faulty attempt to respond and managed to blurt out "Gorning." (An entirely made-up word that is quite obviously an unintentionally shortened version of 'good' and 'morning'. Bah) |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:28 AM |
|
|
|
| The wrong doctor for spewy vertigo |
| Thursday, June 15, 2006 |
| I woke up this morning with funny vertigo, head-spinning thing and since I've been spewy and had a sore throat in the past week I rang a new registered nurse hotline. They said I should go to see a doctor. She gave me three numbers and the last one I called answered 'Hi' (Professional beginning). So I ask him if I can get an appointment and he said if I came in five minutes then he would be free. So I get there and it's this old block of apartments and I ring the doorbell and no one answers and we look at the medical centre sign stuck on the block of apartments and it says "specialising in weight loss, rheumatism, stress and sexual disorders". Hmmmm, no mention of spewy vertigo. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 4:31 PM |
|
|
|
| My latest theory - The Ditsy Effect |
| Tuesday, June 13, 2006 |
The Ditsy Effect:
Once you have been ditsy in front of a person, every time you see that person again you will be ditsy.
It's true. It's inescapable.
A working example:
Take the much-MUCH-younger-than-me-but-quite-handsome trainer at the gym. So far, when he is around I have lost my keys, tripped over, left my drink bottle at one of the machines (and later have to retrieve it from his desk) dropped a really heavy weight (which made a v. loud, attention-grabbing bang) and managed to drop my towel while running on a treadmill, which made me trip and almost bang my head on the machine. The worst thing is, I think he thinks I like him, but I don't, really, despite my ditsiness making me look nervous. It's just the Ditsy Effect.Labels: my weird theories |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 12:05 PM |
|
|
|
| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, June 08, 2006 |
A fit of clumsiness has emerged to fanfare the arrival of red day -
I have spilt moisturiser in my bag, broken THREE wine glasses at home, and (this one is by far the worst, even if it is a cliche) I am walking down the street, people are looking at me, I assume they are looking at me because they like my outfit (I paired two pieces of clothing that hadn't been paired before and was rather chuffed with the outcome), a man even stopped his car dead so I could cross the street in front of him ... but no, it's not my outfit they are looking at - they are checking out the fact that my dress seems to have got caught right up under my handbag and I seem to be exposing my nether regions, complete with stockings that are not pulled up far enough and thus are hanging down much further than they should be.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:18 PM |
|
|
|
| WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THE POSEIDON |
|
| So bloomin stop making movies about it. |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:06 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
