| Note to self #1 |
| Tuesday, August 21, 2007 |
| Don't talk to dogs using dopey doggy voice when there are other people around, particularly handsome ones. Sigh. Labels: ditsy event of the day, note to self |
posted by Cleo Twyford @ 6:58 PM   |
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| Ditsy (and embarrassing) event of the day |
| Tuesday, July 24, 2007 |
| I was at the gym last night. It was fairly busy in the changerooms. I bent down to get my things out of my locker and didn't realise a fully naked older woman was standing behind me. She was straight-out-of-the-shower sopping wet. So when I bent down I 'bummed' her and got all wet too. Embarrassing. She didn't say anything so I'm not sure if she was nonplussed or lost for words :) Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:25 AM |
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| Flood of ditsy events |
| Thursday, July 12, 2007 |
Sigh.
1. I caught my jeans in my bike chain and ripped the bottom off them.
2. Before I left the house, I thought 'I must take the toaster off the top of the washing machine' because the washing machine shakes when it spins the clothes and things fall off it. Of course I forgot and returned to find the toaster hanging off the side of the washing machine ... The worst thing was, it was ON (I'm not sure for how long but the whole house smelt like toast.)
3. I bought 'hydrogen peroxide' instead of hydrogen chloride, which I read you could use as a mouth wash. I only realised when I got to the end of bottle. There's not even any hair in my mouth to be bottle blonde. (Though maybe digesting hydrogen peroxide is the cause of all my recent stereotypically blonde ditsiness. Who am I kidding? I'm always ditsy!!)
THEN (and this is really ditsy) I poured the little bit left in the bottle down the sink. Only (this really is ditsy), we don't use that sink so it is not connected to any plumbing. We use the cupboard underneath to store bed sheets. So the Hydrogen Peroxide ended up on the bed sheets. DER!Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 2:32 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, July 03, 2007 |
| I fell off the side of an armchair and knocked over a big gas heater. It fell heavily on a coffee table narrowly missing a wine decanter and all this dust snow blew out into the air and fell like dandruff on the furniture. Why am I so ditsy?! Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 8:45 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Friday, June 22, 2007 |
I was at the supermarket yesterday. I witnessed a woman smash into the car park barrier, which made me laugh heartily (because you can laugh at other people being ditsy when you are ditsy yourself).
Only immediately after that I promptly ...
- left the window of my car wound down for an hour while I was in the supermarket
- lost the car park ticket for half an hour before finding it stuck down the side of the passenger car seat (How it got there I'm sure I do not know)
- left my purse on someone's desk and went home without it.
I think I shouldn't have laughed!Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:22 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Monday, June 18, 2007 |
So I stopped at a coffee shop mostly because I needed to go to the bathroom. I asked the young man behind the counter where the bathroom was ...
"You have to go in the building next door, up one floor in the elevator, along a corridor, down some stairs, through a door and they are there."
Now I don't have the best sense of direction by any means, but by some fluke of anti-Cleo nature I actually found the toilets. It was when I came out of the bathroom that the trouble started.
I went through a door then on the left I see 'fire door do not use'. So despite the clear message I am convinced that is the door I came through and promptly go through that door (lucky it wasn't alarmed!). It must have been right, thinks I, because I come out by the elevators. So I get in an elevator and press the lower ground button. I press it and eventually the doors close, but the elevator is not moving. So, thinking the elevator must be broken, I get out of that elevator and get in another one. Only the same thing happens.
Then it slowly dawns on me. I'm already on the lower ground floor that's why the elevator wasn't going anywhere. I turn around and there is the door to go back to the coffee shop.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:05 AM |
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| Two bummers on a very ditsy day |
| Thursday, May 24, 2007 |
I began this morning waking up to the supermarket delivery man knocking on my door. He was having trouble getting his trolley up our step so I went outside (in my pyjamas. Will I ever learn?) and as I bent down to help lift up the stuck wheel, managed to expose some significant beavage. I couldn't even recover from my embarrassment enough to inform him beavage was the new cleavage.
Then...
I have been cooking up a comment for the (previously unseen) gentleman who owns the brand-spanking-new Hummer that is parked regularly outside our office. First understand that these massive gas-guzzling vehicles are actually hard to get in Australia and need to be imported. So the comment I was going to inflict when I finally ran into him was "where did you get that environmental travesty? It should be called a BUMMER."
Only today I was outside getting on my bicycle next to the Hummer when he opened a door. Well he was rather handsome, so when he said "oh I nearly wiped you out there" with a smile, instead of my cutting comment I went (embarrassingly) "Yeah" (loudly) and followed it up with a horrible girly (also-loud) giggle.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 4:35 PM |
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| Today's Lesson: Think before you gush |
| Saturday, May 19, 2007 |
Incredible news. A plumber came to my house today. I was so excited that after 10 plumber-no-shows I finally found someone who fronted ... and he was even early!
Only of course I went a bit overboard, as per usual, and gushed so much that I actually said "I can't believe you're here - in the flesh"
And he blushed. I sincerely hope it won't stop him from coming back. I think I might cry if he doesn't show up to do the job (particularly if it coincides with evil RED week).Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:40 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Friday, May 04, 2007 |
So I am having a meeting with a man I don't know very well. I have a big slurp of tea while he is speaking, but the tea manages to partly miss my mouth, partly dribble out of mouth, onto my chin and clothing.
If only he hadn't noticed, but he did ... and subconsciously wiped his chin.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:23 AM |
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| Flying in the air with the greatest unease |
| Monday, March 19, 2007 |
I think I have finally recovered from embarrassment enough to tell this story (well just about anyway. Cringe)
In January a friend asked me if I wanted to learn how to fly a trapeze. It was a free event and the trapeze was set up bang smack in the middle of the city of Melbourne.
I wasn't nervous, not one bit, after all the week before I flew a helicopter, so what was there to be nervous about. Nothing, of course ... only my body thought differently.
So I got there and I am in over-excited chat mode, talking and laughing with all the other people doing the workshop (including one 7-year-old girl).
So the trapeze instructors are telling us we have to climb to the top of this huge swaying-in-the-breeze ladder, grab the swing then launch ourselves into the air, get our legs up onto the bar and hang upside down by our knees, then fall on the safety net. Everybody else seems to be able to do this fine, particularly the seven-year-old, who is a star.
But when I get up to the top of the ladder, I am completely frozen. The instructor at the top has to wipe my legs from underneath me to even get me to leave the platform, then the instructor at the bottom is yelling at me to do things.
Swing! I shake my head.
Get your legs up! I shake my head.
Fall on the net! I shake my head.
Herewith, an unfortunate impasse, where my body refuses to do anything and even refuses to fall on the net. So there I am just hanging, unmoving, my hands in a bar death-grip..
There were no claps from the crowd either. You see the worst thing was that it was Australia Day and there was a big parade in the city, so I had a crowd of people watching me (and also meant I did my ditsiness to the tune of Advance Australia Fair delivered by bagpipes)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:28 AM |
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| Almost ditsy event of the day |
| Wednesday, March 07, 2007 |
So I arrive at the gym and there is a guy at the counter who looks really really familiar. So familiar, in fact, that I am convinced that I went to primary school with him. I'm just about to ask him 'where did you go to primary school?' when he gets caught up talking about something with the receptionist.
Then before the class a girl walks in and says 'I just saw Vince Colosimo, you know, that actor'.
Yes, I didn't know him from primary school, he's just an Aussie celeb. Boy, am I glad I didn't say that!Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:05 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the day |
| Tuesday, February 27, 2007 |
This is not the first ditsy event for the year, despite the fact that it's the first one I've posted about. This is because I'm testing out the theory that if I say I'm ditsy will I be more ditsy? But quite obviously I'm wasting my time being all psychological, because I did something ditsy any way.
So friends of mine are holding a barbeque birthday party in the park across the road from their house. They have invited lots of people including their neighbours. After a few glasses of champers (and I'm not blaming this on the alcohol) I need to go to the loo/visit the smallest room in the house. So I cross the road and head towards my friends' house, which is in a row of three pretty much identical houses (and I'm not blaming this on the fact that they all look the same). I'm inside the house and walking up the stairs. I'm preoccupied thinking about how I am going to ask one of the children who was watching videos come play cricket in the park.
Then a voice says "oh oh..."
I don't think much of it because it's one of the neighbours at the barbeque.
There are kids there but I can't see the one I was going to ask to play cricket.
All of a sudden I realise that the place looks rather different than what I remember. (and I'm not blaming this on the fact that I haven't been to my friends' house much - because I have been there... a lot)
Yes, I've actually entered the neighbour's house.
Blush. (Although I did contemplate asking whether I could use their bathroom, after all I knew whereabouts it would be, and by then I was just short of bursting)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:58 AM |
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| Ditsy escape by the skin of my lycra |
| Friday, December 22, 2006 |
This morning I was chatting to a very nice young man at the gym. We were laughing about the 1960s exercise machine that involved a vibrating wad of rubber placed around bottom and you just stand there immobile (sounds good to me!)... well except for your bottom which is wobbling madly.
Then he said if you remember the sixties then you weren't there
Me: and if you remember the eighties, then...
He: You'll still wear shoulder pads.
I only just stop myself from saying and fluro, which is lucky really since he is wearing bright fluro bike shorts and fluro green socks (two different shades of bright green fluro at that)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 1:16 PM |
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| Ditsy Cleo comes out at a restaurant |
| Tuesday, December 19, 2006 |
| The waiter paid JJ and I lots of attention at our first annual splurge-at-fancy-pancy restaurant Christmas dinner - I suspect he heard me say 'oh he's lovely' when I thought he'd gone away, but instead he was right next to me, adding a second piece of bread to my side plate. Blush Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:22 AM |
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| Newton's Third Law and Aqua Aerobics |
| Tuesday, December 12, 2006 |
Newton's third law of motion is: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
That's why when I was doing water aerobics last night, every time I jumped up, my bikini bottoms went down (showing significant beavage)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 4:48 PM |
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| Really ditsy times two |
| Thursday, December 07, 2006 |
| I am such a ditz. I mean I know that's obvious since I write this blog, but this morning just confirmed it. I did something ditsy for the SECOND time. I yelled out 'the hot water isn't working' to my fellow house sharer then realised I was just turning the cold tap. Read about the first time Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:28 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Friday, November 24, 2006 |
| I was being all environmental and took my own bags to the supermarket. After I had been through the checkout and the nice young man had packed the shopping into my bags, I turned to walk away. But the bags were caught on something. I didn't look at what they were caught on and just tugged at it hard. Tug tug. "OWWWW!" Oops, I had the supermarket check-out guy's thump caught in the strap. But bless, he was still managing to serve the person after me at the same time. Who says guys can't multi-task?! Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:34 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day - but not me! |
| Tuesday, November 21, 2006 |
Lately I have broken more than my fair share of drinking glasses at home. I truly do not know what is wrong with me and I really think I have contracted some sort of dreadful glass-breaking condition.
Because of this, my fellow house sharer was pouring wine the other day and decided it would be funny to give me mine in a plastic wine glass.
Only he dropped it on the concrete floor and it snapped completely in half (See photographic evidence, including Boris Yeltsin, who is my Yeltsin-mini-me witness). Hysterics ensued ;)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 12:15 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, November 02, 2006 |
I WAS having a fantastic day, thanks to an amazing hair feat. There is rain, humidity, stress - all the factors for, you guessed it, the dreaded FRIZZ - but I seem to have got off frizz free. It is amazing! Must be a full moon in Libra or somesuch celestial event.
But alas, being me, my day was not ever going to be perfect. I borrowed another's car to quickly go to bank before it closed and I managed to scratch the car on a post. Therefore spent 1 hour of work time rubbing off paint then trying to fix scratches with touch-up paint (which thankfully I found hiding in the glove box). Now, do I tell, or not? Maybe he'll just read this (hearing from a third-party is better of course; except it's not really a direct confession. Embarrassed, and well a bit scared.)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 5:15 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, October 26, 2006 |
I made it to gym early enough to do a class (By getting up at a time with a 5 as the first number. eek). In the class I reminded myself not to try to befriend the (new) instructor, you know, after the embarrassing supermarket incident.
So she is saying to someone else at the end of the class "...and he said 'girls don't sweat'", so I yell out, 'and they don't fart either'.
No response. CringeLabels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:41 AM |
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| Ditsy event of the day |
| Monday, October 16, 2006 |
I was trying to impress a friend's almost-3-year-old girl at the park by leaning back precariously on a wooden fence yesterday, when of course I leant back too far, fell off and ended up flat on my back. I had rolled backwards off the log fence and in the process my t-shirt had rolled up and as a result I had a big hurty scratch all the way up my back. She was still standing there looking at me, but she didn't look impressed; in fact, she had no expression whatsoever. I think she wasn't sure what to make of it all.
Anyway I was glad not to get any splinters because I had just laughed loudly at my friend's story about someone who had slid her backside across a church pew at a wedding to make room for someone else to sit down and got three splinters in her nether regions; one of which refused to come out. nasty.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 1:32 PM |
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| Practical cooking advice for women a.k.a ditsy event of the day |
| Thursday, October 12, 2006 |
| If you are going to use an evaporated milk substitute for coconut milk in a Thai green curry, don't add lemon juice (extreme curdle alert) Labels: ditsy event of the day, practical advice for women |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:46 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, September 19, 2006 |
When it comes to cooking I am not one of those people who wield ingredients with creative flair; I have to follow the recipe to the absolute letter (too bad this attention to detail doesn't seep into other areas of my life).
Anyhoo, in a fit of ditsiness, this time I followed the recipe to the letter - and er, a bit beyond.
This particular recipe for potato, fetta and spinach pie called for a flan/tart ring and puff pastry. Being a child of the 'instant' generation I think that I need to buy one of those instant pastry flan rings from the supermarket. So I'm making the pie and I put the pastry ring in the oven to pre-bake the pastry as per the instructions on the packet then I put a layer of puff pastry in the bottom of the pastry ring as per the recipe instructions as I have interpreted them. Then I add the filling and top with another layer of puff pastry.
It only occurs to me when I pull the pie out of the oven and start cutting it that a double layer of two different types of pastry on the bottom of the pie probably wasn't necessary and oops, I should have just used a METAL flan ring.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:32 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, August 29, 2006 |
So I receive in the mail from my gym a letter saying that because I have been there 150 times (which would sound impressive, if it wasn't over such a long period of time)I can get a free walkman - if there are enough in stock that is. This makes me, shock horror, want to go to the gym on the weekend so I can make sure I can get one.
I managed to resist that madness and wait until monday morning, and phew, I even got one of the walkmans (radio-only, which was a bit disappointing to begin with) ... only to break it on the elliptical machine when my arm accidentally got caught on the ear plugs wire, yanking it, breaking it, and subsequently leaving one useless ear-plug in my ear and a dangly piece of wire.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:58 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Friday, July 28, 2006 |
Where I live there are loads of apartments that all share big rubbish bins. Last night while I was putting out my rubbish, I chanced across a tall, handsome, well-dressed fellow apartment dweller putting out his garbage at the same time.
I really think I ruined my chances when I said "It must be rubbish-time!" in a sing-song school ma'am voice.
(Yes it was one of those times when you walk away slapping your forehead)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 8:45 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, June 08, 2006 |
A fit of clumsiness has emerged to fanfare the arrival of red day -
I have spilt moisturiser in my bag, broken THREE wine glasses at home, and (this one is by far the worst, even if it is a cliche) I am walking down the street, people are looking at me, I assume they are looking at me because they like my outfit (I paired two pieces of clothing that hadn't been paired before and was rather chuffed with the outcome), a man even stopped his car dead so I could cross the street in front of him ... but no, it's not my outfit they are looking at - they are checking out the fact that my dress seems to have got caught right up under my handbag and I seem to be exposing my nether regions, complete with stockings that are not pulled up far enough and thus are hanging down much further than they should be.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:18 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, May 25, 2006 |
I don't know what possessed me when I recognised an aerobics instructor from my gym at the supermarket and bounced over to check out what she had in her shopping basket with a loud "I hope you've got all healthy things in there" (complete with a hideous loud cackle) a few weeks ago. For her part, she looked a bit taken aback, to say the least.
Last night I ventured back to her aerobics class after I had managed to get over my mortification. But THEN (and it makes me cringe to even think about it) I chance upon her in the bathroom at the gym - well actually i look up to find her staring at me with an odd look on her face - and I say equally loudly, "Sorry I accosted you at the supermarket" and she says, sans humour, "yes". Cringe, cringe, cringe.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:10 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, May 23, 2006 |
| So this morning I am getting in the shower and I turn on the taps and there is no hot water. So I scream out to my fellow house sharer "There's no hot water!" Only then I realise I had mistaken the cold tap for the hot tap so had turned on the cold tap to full strength and the hot tap a little then not at all ... I'm not sure how I managed to do this since I've used that shower every day for more than a year. And I still haven't explained to the person I live with what really happened. Hmmm Wonder what he's thinking. Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:30 AM |
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| Ditsy Events of the Day |
| Monday, May 01, 2006 |
Ditsy Event #1
I spent the morning drinking coffee with a friend, and we watched a succession of 60+ women pass us by, every single one of them wearing an item of clothing that was beige. Yes, it's true, beige is extremely popular among the over 60s set.
So, of course, I have to say out loud, "When I get old I'm never wearing beige", complete with a sneer, a tut and a big BIG eye roll.
By the afternoon I had bought a beige dress without a second thought.
Ditsy Event #2
Me: Oh yes I'd love to see your photos of Singapore
Intrepid Traveller: See here on the water are concrete statues of cats
Me: Wow amazing, the black ones look really real
Intrepid Traveller: The black ones are realLabels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:43 AM |
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| The ditsy guide to fixing things |
| Monday, April 24, 2006 |
The Ditsy Guide to Fixing Things is based on true stories (okay, they are confessions), inspired by this weekend's move from a rental property (particularly the bit where I was rubbing a mark off the wall and a big wad of paint came off).
- When leaving a rental property where your cat has wrecked the vertical blinds by pawing at and breaking the plastic connections, fix with Blu Tack.
- When leaving a house where your dad told you not to put up posters with Blu Tack, but you did, and then discovered that he was right, it does wreck the walls ... fix with white-out/Tipp-Ex (It really doesn't matter that it's not the same colour as the walls).
- When the TV, or your mobile phone or other technology goes a bit fuzzy, shake vigorously (This sometimes works, and sometimes completely annihilates shaked technology. In fact, I've pretty much abandoned this after I saw a colleague's computer emit black smoke and a smell like fresh popcorn)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 5:07 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Monday, March 27, 2006 |
I suppose I should have checked the entrance requirements for the Commonwealth Games before I waltzed up to the security entrance point with a chockers handbag complete with a glass bottle (big no no)
But worse, it was difficult and a tad embarrassing trying to explain to the confused security guard that I had used a garlic bottle to put hair moisturiser in (as bemused and a-bit-annoyed fellow patrons queued behind me)
Then he tried to take it off me, telling me I could collect it at the end, which meant he obviously failed to realise the importance of carrying around hair moisturiser to combat frizz - it's evil; it can strike any time, any where.
In the end they decided it wasn't too much of a security risk (and was obviously a bad statement for Australia - no country wants to be known as the land of frizzy haired women)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 5:55 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Monday, March 20, 2006 |
Okay so it's late at night and I am sitting at my computer, which is fairly close to the front door. Then I hear a car race up to the front door and someone gets out and knocks really loudly.
Because Ms. Paranoid has a really loud voice in my head ... and also because I live in a slightly dodgy area, I'm not keen to just open the door, so I yell "HELLO?".
No answer.
"HELLO?" (which happens to sound a little annoyed, as well as a bit scared)
I pull back the blinds to peek outside.
It's the police. Oops.
Yes?
"We're looking for number 63" (Not my house)
"Oh so I'm not in trouble then?"
(This is quickly followed by loud committee members in my head saying repeatedly: "What a stupid thing to say.")Labels: ditsy event of the day, head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:30 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 |
This morning I managed to get up, forget to put on a bra, AND put my top on back to front (don't ask!)
But that is only slightly mortifying compared to one cringe-worthy ditsy event of my teenager-hood.
I had to go up the front of church to do the money collection and half way down the aisle I realised I wasn't wearing a bra underneath my quite see-through white shirt. Then, of course, I had to go around to every single person with the collection plate.
I guess it is easy to forget to put it on when you just start wearing one. (insert embarrassing shudder at memory here). But I don't have any sane reason for forgetting it today :)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:25 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, February 28, 2006 |
Whenever I make a trip to the hardware store I make a concerted effort not to sound ditsy - but without fail sound like the biggest ditsy girl (Can you be in your thirties and still call yourself a girl? Probably not, but I think I'll be 85 and still calling myself a girl. Hopefully I'll be less ditsy by then too. Okay so that's not likely)
Anyway I march resolutely into the hardware store yesterday and before I can stop it, the ditsy babble starts tumbling unhindered from my mouth.
Yeah, I want one of those thingies, you know, they are kind of plastic thingies that you use [insert horrible high-pitched giggle and completely indecipherable hand movements] to pop in the wall to stop the whatchimacallits coming out.
To say the guy's face was 'puzzled' is an understatement.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:43 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, February 14, 2006 |
So I went away on the weekend and stayed with a friend in this establishment that seemed to have a maze of corridors - well this is my excuse for the fact that when I went from the dining room to find my room, I got completely lost and found myself in the staff quarters. Then, of course, I run into a staff member.
Me: Oh have you seen my friend? (who is, I know, back in the dining room)
Staff Member: I'll just go and look for him
Me: Thanks, that would be great.
So the staff member goes running off and I go back to the dining room to ask my friend which way my room is.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:06 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day (Well the entire week really) |
| Tuesday, January 24, 2006 |
It's okay to get a bit muddled during aerobics and face the entirely wrong direction when everyone else has prounced off to the back of the room, but to do it three times in one week during the same song at exactly the same point is a bit much. (But fact that I've been to the gym three times in one week is very good eh?)
I confess that instead of listening to what the instructor was saying I was:
1: Mesmorized by how my frizzy hair bopped up and down in the mirror
2: Too busy looking at the bottom of my shoe when kicking and congratulating myself on how high I was getting
3: Tutting about how the person in front of me kept making mistakes (hee hee)
To top it off, the last time I ditsed up the instructor said 'Hey! You did that last week'.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 12:05 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
I'm not sure the doctors' surgery is the best place to make a fool of myself - well unless they have some special cure-ditsiness tablets ;)
Anyhoo the doctor took me down a maze of corridors and of course I didn't take any note about which way I was going because I was too busy talking her ear off. So when I came out I was a bit lost and had to re-open the door to ask her which way to go.
I'm also not sure she really wanted to hear about my relationship history (in far-too-much detail).
But that wasn't the only ditsy thing I did - I remembered the last time I got an Implanon (matchstick contraception, basically) inserted in my arm that I had to pee so they could do a pregnancy test, because they don't insert them when you're pregnant. So I turn up to the surgery to get it replaced with another one and I'm bursting to go to the toilet, but hang on so I can do the test. When the receptionist finally calls me I ask her about the preggers pee test, and she goes:
Well no, because you've had that contraception in your arm for three years
Der! Oh well, I guess at least I'm organised enough to get contraception, even if I did leave the building dropping things.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 2:03 PM |
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| Why do I always break things? |
| Wednesday, January 04, 2006 |
[A.K.A. Ditsy Events of the New Year]
Just sending the question out into the ether ... since already this year I have broken two glasses, a mirror and an entire bottle of wine (that fell out of the fridge door in slow motion and shattered at my feet.)Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 11:03 AM |
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| Ditsy event of the day |
| Monday, January 02, 2006 |
| Yesterday I discovered that it is not necessary to scream loudly when your friend says, oh look he's got a spider; because even though we have some very scary big black hairy spiders around here, the kind of spider that involves pouring fizzy drink over ice cream shouldn't evoke fear. Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:09 AM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 |
| So you know when someone waves at you and you wave back and then you discover that the waving person was actually waving at someone else? Well that happened to me TWICE today. Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:26 PM |
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| Ditsy lesson: Don't laugh at carrot kickers |
| Wednesday, November 30, 2005 |
Ms Paranoid tells me loudly in my head that it is because I said publically that I am always ditsy in the supermarket that ditsy events continue to happen to me while I am there.
So I am in the fruit and vegetable section and this young but very tall man - wearing spectacles that make his eyes look like a Japanese Manga character's - comes by and kicks a carrot that he sees on the floor.
ME: Yeaaah, kick that bad carrot (followed by loud laughter that obviously indicates that he should laugh at my joke too)
HIM: swings around, leans too far into my personal space and looks me straight in the eye - and he is not smiling; in fact he has a slightly mad look in his eye.
ME: gasps and shuffles off to hide in the feminine hygiene product section. Ouch.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 1:59 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Tuesday, November 22, 2005 |
This morning I thought it was a great idea to transfer a small amount from my big budget-sized bottle of hair moisturiser into a smaller bottle so I could carry it around with me to combat middle-of-the-day hair frizz. But afterwards it doesn't seem as much of a good idea to use an old garlic container.
Now, even though I can ward off vampires at twenty paces, I think I will refrain in future from making my hair smell like it's about to become a pasta sauce and just live with the frizz. Viva la frizz!Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 2:23 PM |
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| Ditsy event of the day |
| Monday, November 07, 2005 |
I'm back in the supermarket (where it seems my penchant for ditsiness is most at home). While doing my shopping I pass the same man down each of the busy aisles. We have a few near trolley collisions. For the first few aisles we just smile at each other and move on. Then in the canned vegetables aisle I decide to try to be witty (bad move).
ME: We're going to have a big trolley smash before this shopping trip is over.
HIM: laughs
Only we still have two aisles and the fruit and vegetable section to go and I'm not sure I can think up that many things to say. Okay I definitely can't. Aisles 1 and 2 go okay, then I'm avoiding him like crazy in the fruit and vegetable section.
I hurry to the check-out and I see him searching for a check-out that doesn't involve standing behind me (Ms Paranoid tells me this loudly in my head).
"I'm closing" says the only other supermarket assistant and so he ends up at the check-out where I am - right behind me.
It's uncomfortable. I can't bear the silence.
ME: Can't get away from me!
HIM: Yeah
Then he buries his head in an upside down copy of Australian Vogue.
CringeLabels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 1:08 PM |
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| Eighties music very ditsy discovery |
| Thursday, September 29, 2005 |
The Dictionary.com Word of the Day today is 'adamant' and I was just looking at it when something dawned on me.
Yes I made it all the way through the eighties (wearing fluorescent clothing and with very big, very stiff hair with a wall of fringe), through the nineties and five years into the 21st century before I realised the significance of the moniker of Eighties Ant Music songman - ADAM ANT.Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 3:25 PM |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Wednesday, July 27, 2005 |
Ah yes the supermarket ... the time-sucking, advertising-flooded, brightly lit place where some members of the 70-plus age group get to eat straight out of the help-yourself-to-nuts section.
So I was in the supermarket pushing the trolley around in a bit of a dazed state (it's all the marketing, bright lights and concentrated nut-eating. Okay I admit these are all excuses.)
I was in the fruit and vege section. I picked out some broccoli and popped it in the trolley. I picked out some carrots and popped them in the trolley. I picked out some spinach and popped it in the trolley. Then I was on my way to the mushrooms when a man arrived in front of me holding broccoli, carrots and spinach.
Me (confused): yes?
Him (also confused): you put all these in my trolley.
Of course I meant to put all those vegies in his trolley because I thought he looked a bit tired and run down and needed to eat healthier. Grin
It's not the first funny experience i've had in that supermarket. I once encountered this tiny older lady in the bread section. She chose some bread. I chose some bread. She moved out the bread section. I moved out the bread section.
Strange lady (looking scared): Stop following me
But before I could tell her that I actually wasn't following her she had disappeared into the next aisle. So the rest of the shopping trip I had to peek into each aisle to see if she was there.
Okay so this post could also be titled "How I became a Supermarket Stalker".Labels: ditsy event of the day |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 2:22 PM |
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