| Uncontrollable brain actions #2 |
| Thursday, November 02, 2006 |
I have recently become aware of an uncontrollable brain function. When watching the television, particularly news about celebrity males, my brain automatically imagines me kissing said celeb male. And I'm not talking about the attractive ones, no, no. I'm talking about the ones I don't like (like Tom Cruise). So when this happens inside my head it sends a repulsed shiver down my spine and I screw my face up. I'm not sure what people who catch this face think is going on, but they wouldn't think it was normal ;)
(I'm not sure which head committee member is responsible for this one, but I know it's one of them.)
Uncontrollable brain actions #1Labels: head committee, uncontrollable brain actions |
posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:36 AM   |
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| Ditsy Event of the Day |
| Monday, March 20, 2006 |
Okay so it's late at night and I am sitting at my computer, which is fairly close to the front door. Then I hear a car race up to the front door and someone gets out and knocks really loudly.
Because Ms. Paranoid has a really loud voice in my head ... and also because I live in a slightly dodgy area, I'm not keen to just open the door, so I yell "HELLO?".
No answer.
"HELLO?" (which happens to sound a little annoyed, as well as a bit scared)
I pull back the blinds to peek outside.
It's the police. Oops.
Yes?
"We're looking for number 63" (Not my house)
"Oh so I'm not in trouble then?"
(This is quickly followed by loud committee members in my head saying repeatedly: "What a stupid thing to say.")Labels: ditsy event of the day, head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 9:30 AM |
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| Autumn BAH my life's in constant indian summer |
| Tuesday, March 14, 2006 |
Ms Paranoid (loud head committee member) almost had a seizure when I read the other day about a woman describing herself as being "in the autumn of life".
The hysterical voice in my head went a bit like:
AUTUMN? AUTUMN? Am I in the autumn of my life? Maybe I am. Aaaaaaaaagh. Well I'm certainly not in the spring of my life. But surely I'm not in the autumn. Late summer maybe? Maybe not.
Bugger that. Now I've decided that I will neither be entering the Autumn of my life, nor the Winter for that matter ... It's actually life a la constant Indian SummerLabels: head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:56 AM |
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| Horrible horrible hideous horrible event |
| Monday, January 30, 2006 |
It makes me cringe to even think about it ... so quite obviously it makes sense to tell everyone about it. (By the way this story is told by Ms Paranoid, who is the loudest member of my head committee.)
So there I am walking along busy touristy street in busy touristy place flanking busy touristy Great Ocean Road when one young bloke says out loud "are you kidding, she's like 40" and he seems to be looking my way.
Now it's one thing that they looked about 12 but they were probably old enough to drive, but I'm not 40 (sniff) - I'm not even close to 40.
So I spent the rest of the day examining wrinkles (real and imaginary) in every reflective surface. Ouch, I mean OUCH.Labels: head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 7:58 PM |
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| The cluckiness that never comes |
| Thursday, December 08, 2005 |
I'm past 30 so that means by now I'm have meant to have got all clucky and 'oh isn't that baby really cute, I think I want one'.
Ms Paranoid is telling me loudly in my head (She is the loudest member of the committee) that there is something wrong with me. What could it be? So far I've come up with the following theories:
1. Since I pretend I'm actually not in my thirties, I have managed to convince my body as well.
2. Baby sick, crying and not being able to leave it in a cupboard and go out with my friends has managed to obliterate any chance of cluckiness.
3. I'm immune
4. I'm not a real person; I'm actually a mechanical creation living in an entirely constructed reality.Labels: head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 12:02 PM |
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| Default songs and default words |
| Thursday, July 28, 2005 |
More absurdities from the recesses of the complex, yet somehow intensely attractive*, mind of Twyford ...
I have a default song that springs from my brain when there is no song stuck in there. It just so happens to be Crowded House's 'Mean to Me'. This obviously indicates that I have a serious problem. Ms Paranoid (Very loud member of my head committee) agrees entirely that everyone is mean to me - Therefore I should spend some time today eating worms.
I also have default words that pop into my head when I can't think of a word (which is increasingly often these days. Sigh.) Unexplainably, these words are 'Fred Flintstone'; perhaps I'm attempting to get in touch with the inner thingamajig, er child. or perhaps I'm just strange.
*This is sarcasm - an explanation for some of you from the Land of Queen Oprah who are unaquainted.Labels: head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 10:47 AM |
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| The committee in my head |
| Tuesday, July 26, 2005 |
I think it is about time I introduced you to the committee - the committee is the committee in my head (but they often have a lot to do with what comes out of my mouth).
I have named the members of my head committee — there is Ms Paranoid, Ms Sensitive, Ms I'm-a-Failure, Ms Voice-of-Your-Mother and Ms Man Hater (I try to suppress her as much as possible). Then there is Counsel for Cleo who is the softly spoken, oft-absent voice of reason.
Sometimes one or more of them go on holiday, but it is never for more than a month because they all convene and yell at the top of their voices when I am expecting my period :)Labels: head committee |
| posted by Cleo Twyford @ 12:06 PM |
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